Article
Child discipleship. Sounds like a weighty concept — a term that belongs to your church’s children’s ministry, right? It’s something that evokes fun, organized children’s programming, someone teaching from a stage with a mic in their hand, songs with motions, crafts and maybe even snacks. For parents who are charged with discipling their children at home, these images are intimidating to say the least. What if I’m not crafty or can’t sing? I’m not a teacher. How can I teach them about the Bible? How do I answer my children’s questions about God and the universe when I don’t have a seminary degree?
Yes, discipling our children is an awesome responsibility and privilege that God gives us as parents. But the truth is, in the home, child discipleship is less about programming and more about the little moments. It’s about modeling every day what it looks like to follow Christ and helping your kids see how God is working in and through your family.
Your Children Are Your First Disciples
Before my son was born, I was incredibly active in my church. My husband was the young adult director and we both spent many late nights leading young adult small groups and activities every week. I enjoyed mentoring young women and served from time to time with the youth group. However, after my son was born, that all changed. Suddenly, my world revolved around him. I no longer had the energy to look after anyone else.
For a time, that was ok. Watching him grow and change brought me plenty of satisfaction. And let’s face it, I was so lacking in sleep that my brain wasn’t capable of anything else anyway. But as time went on and he needed me less and less, I began to feel restless and more than a little bit useless. I felt I was no longer doing “enough” and wanted to jump back in to “real ministry.”
Thankfully, older and wiser women reminded me: “Your son is your first and your primary disciple. Right now, he is your ministry, and that’s ok. It’s as it should be.”
Proverbs 22:6 tells us, Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. But as the book, Children’s Ministry in a New Reality revealed, parents don’t always feel equipped to be able to do that. In that book, Dr. Denise Muir Kjesbo shared that, “Sadly, parents, grandparents and ‘faith friends’ feel like they cannot compete with … or replicate what happens at church.” But the truth, she explained, is that “Families are naturally poised to offer informal discipleship in everyday life. They are strategically primed to live out Deuteronomy 6:7.” She calls this informal discipleship a “teachable moments methodology,” and it’s “powerful and long lasting.”
But what does this “teachable moments methodology” look like in practice? How do we disciple in the “little” everyday moments?
Everyday Discipleship
As Mike Handler shared in Creating a Culture of Discipleship in the Home, “Discipleship is deliberate.” But thankfully for you and me, it doesn’t have to be elaborate.
At home, we don’t have to have crafts, games or a specific curriculum to disciple our children. All we need is a loving, trust-founded relationship with our kids, a willingness to be open in conversation and intentionality in seeking out ways to help our kids see God in every moment of every day. Here are methods you can implement in your home:
1. Take advantage of quiet moments during the day. Read a short family devotional or play worship music at breakfast, pray together in the car before school drop off. At bedtime, talk about ways God showed up for you during your day and give your kids the chance to do the same.
Though I currently homeschool my son, when he was younger, I tried to make
every minute count of our short drive to his preschool. I would ask, “What is one
thing you want to say thank you to God for and what is one thing you want to ask God to help you with today?” Then we would spend the rest of the time together praying. Sometimes he was more open than others, but still every morning, we would go through the same routine. I continue doing this on days I drop him off at our homeschool co-op or anywhere else I take him.
2. Find ways to point to Christ in conversations throughout the day. Lately, our family has been enjoying a chronological Bible reading study called The Bible Recap. After reading through that day’s assigned Scripture, we read a short summary that explains the context of the passage we covered. Included in that summary is a section called “Today’s God Shot” which explains what we can learn about God from the Scripture passage.
Every day, point out “God Shot” moments to your kids. This will look different at every age and stage. When my son was little, this meant pointing out birds singing during our daily walks and saying, “Listen! They’re singing to God!” Now that he’s older, it looks more like talking about answered prayers and sharing how God is working in each of our lives. I’ve even used moments of discipline to illustrate the forgiveness we received through Christ’s sacrifice on the cross.
3. Read the Bible to your kids. This may seem like a no-brainer, but reading to your children from the Bible gives them familiarity with God’s Word and helps them become more comfortable with reading it themselves. Research has shown that reading aloud to kids is incredibly beneficial to building their listening skills, vocabulary, imagination and more. The same goes for reading the Bible.
Depending on which version of Scripture you’re reading, yes, the language can be difficult for little ears to comprehend. That’s often why with young children, it can be helpful to use children’s Bibles that have colorful illustrations and simple, easy-to- understand explanations. However, from time to time, I would encourage you to read from the “grown up” Bible too. Let them see where all the “Sunday school stories” come from and hear the full context in which they were written.
Take breaks to explain the meaning of the words. And don’t worry if they can’t seem to sit still. Trust me, they’re listening. If in doubt, just ask a few comprehension questions. You’ll be surprised at how much they’re absorbing.
4. Let your kids see you studying the Bible. Growing up, I often spent summers at my grandparents’ house in Tennessee. Besides my grandmother’s delicious cooking, one of my most enduring memories of that time is of walking out to the screened-in porch in the mornings and seeing my grandmother sitting at the big, glass, patio table, coffee in hand, studying God’s Word. It’s been twenty years since she passed away, but her faithful example remains with me.
Though having a truly quiet time of reading Scripture and praying is often better for focus, sometimes, it’s the not-so-quiet times that have the most impact for our kids. So if your children wake up too early or you wake up too late, or they’re unexpectedly home for the day, have your quiet time anyway — right there, in the middle of the chaos. God can teach you what He wants to no matter where you are, and your kids will never forget seeing it happen in real time.
5. Be open about mistakes and struggles. Not long ago, I shared with my son about a time in college when God answered a prayer and taught me to really, truly trust Him. My son had always heard that we should “trust God with everything,” but before I shared my own experience, I don’t think he fully understood what that meant.
I’m not saying we need to confess all our current worries or struggles with our kids. It would not be helpful to overburden them with our problems or make them feel responsible for fixing them. But where appropriate, we can share about times of struggle and lessons God has taught us through them. After all, modeling how to follow Christ (even in our imperfections) is one of the most important things we can do for our kids.
Discipling in the little moments doesn’t have to be complicated, but it should be intentional. The reality is that if we, our kids’ first disciple-makers, don’t take up the charge, someone or something else will — with potentially disastrous results. But by modeling what it looks like to walk with Christ, taking advantage of the quiet moments and consistently pointing to Jesus, we, in partnership with the Holy Spirit, can give our kids a strong foundation from which their faith can grow and deepen. What an opportunity God has given us to raise up the next generation to follow Him!
To access the resources mentioned here, along with other Awana child discipleship resources including Talking Together: Truths for Tough and Timely Conversations and The Child Discipleship Podcast, visit childdiscipleship.com.
Sarah Free is a freelance writer and editor for Awana. God has taught her a lot through her experiences as a pastor’s wife, lay-counselor, teacher, homeschool mom of one son and children’s ministry volunteer at her church in South Florida.
