Article
by
Sam: What was the reason you wrote The Story we Tell Our Children? What was the backstory or the problem you were trying to solve with this book?
Matt: I like to think of it like a painting. If you look at a landscape painting, there’s a broad background and then objects in the foreground. The backdrop for why I wrote this book is the broader culture that children are growing up in, wherever they are in the world. A child in India grows up in a Hindu culture, a child in Sweden in a post-Christian culture, and now, because of screens, children everywhere are being connected to a global culture. Secularism is being pumped everywhere—and with it, dominant cultural narratives.
One of the most powerful narratives is hyper-individualization, the belief that life is all about me. Stories form children at a very early age. For example, my wife has said that a story formed in her heart early on that she was not good enough, and she’s seen that repeated in the lives of many young women. Add Instagram to the mix, and that story is amplified on steroids. So, the background is that stories are powerful and shape children.
In the foreground, we in the church have this incredible resource: the Bible. But I noticed about 15 years ago that even in the church, we sometimes teach the Bible in ways that unintentionally reinforce these cultural narratives. We give fragments of the Bible (values or virtues), without connecting them to the whole Gospel story. That’s what I call the “Bible Lite” strategy: it’s accurate but incomplete.
Sam: How can someone identify if what they’re teaching is “Bible Lite,” and how can they address it?
Matt: Here’s the official definition we wrote in Forming Faith: The Bible Lite strategy emphasizes values, morals or character from the Bible in a way that’s unrooted from the Gospel. It isn’t necessarily inaccurate, but it is incomplete. Good character or virtues aren’t the goal of a Christian, they’re the byproduct of a life surrendered to Jesus.
An easy way to spot Bible Lite is in how we apply Bible stories. For example, in the story of the boy with the loaves and fish, a moralistic application would say: “Just like the boy gave his lunch, you can give to Jesus too.” That’s virtue-focused [teaching]. Instead, Gospel-centered teaching says: “Sometimes giving is hard, but because Jesus is the giver of life and gave His life for us, He can make us into givers like Him.”
To fix Bible Lite teaching, clarity is key. I recommend two practical steps:
1. Use a visual framework—consistently show kids the four parts of God’s big story: Creation, Fall, Redemption, Restoration. Connect each lesson to where it fits in the big story.
2. Recite a simple creed weekly—for example:
“This is a story about the King and His kingdom. A kingdom established at creation, lost through sin, and reestablished through our rescuer Jesus Christ … and one day, King Jesus will return to make all things new.” [Creed example shared with permission from Lauren Jackson, CEO Next Gen Ministry Network, from the church she attends.]
That rhythm of referencing visual framework and verbal recitation sticks with kids and gives them a foundation to recognize false cultural stories.
Sam: What are some of those false stories kids are hearing today?
Matt: Three come to mind: identity, entertainment and pleasure.
• Identity: Since the garden of Eden, the enemy has attacked our identity. Today, kids face extreme confusion about defining themselves apart from God. The sexual revolution has taken this to dark new levels.
• Entertainment: Kids are told that endless entertainment will satisfy them. One more episode, one more game, one more scroll.
• Pleasure: The lie is that happiness comes from indulging every desire, but history and culture repeatedly show that pleasure alone leaves people empty.
These are all counterfeit narratives that never deliver on their promises.
Sam: Is there any way we can use these counterfeit cultures to our advantage?
Matt: You know, it reminds me of growing up in the ’70s, ’80s, and ’90s, when you’d go to a restaurant and they had smoking and non-smoking sections. My parents were non-smokers, and they’d sit in the non-smoking section, but they would always say, “This is so stupid, the smoke is still coming over here.” I remember seeing the smoke drift right through a lattice wall into our section.
That’s kind of how it is being a parent now. You’re looking at the toxic smoke of counterfeit cultural narratives—everything you don’t want your kids exposed to—but it’s still drifting over. You can’t completely shield them.
Sam: And when you can’t shield them, what do you do?
Matt: That’s when you take that “toxic smoke” and talk about it with your kids in age-appropriate ways. Compare the counterfeit narratives side by side with the truth. For example, if the narrative is naturalism (the idea that everything came about through natural processes, the Big Bang, and there’s no designer), we can hold that up next to the belief that there is a creator, an intelligent designer, a loving God whose name is Jesus.
We can say, “Here’s what others believe, here’s what we believe, and here’s why.” That way we’re not fearful. We show our kids the Gospel is robust and can handle scrutiny. We want to give them a faith they can grow into.
Sam: So you’re saying it’s about equipping them to compare and think critically.
Matt: Exactly. Maybe the counterfeit narrative is the pursuit of pleasure or drowning ourselves in social media. Let’s compare that with the health and beauty of the Gospel and the life outcomes it leads to. Let kids see the difference.
Think about the anxiety epidemic. Why are so many kids anxious? Their parents might be divorced, or their faces are always in their iPhones. We’d talk openly with our kids about that. One thing we’d do with Warren and Hudson is ask, “If you continued this behavior for the next 30 years, what kind of life would you have?” We’d let them articulate that themselves.
Another thing we’d do, especially in upper elementary, is ask, “If you were a parent, how would you want your kids to think about this?” By then, kids can imagine their own future and consider what they’d want for their own children.
So again, holding the “toxic smoke” of counterfeit culture up to the light and helping them discern the difference.
Sam: It sounds like when we were kids, parents could more easily protect us from things.
Matt: Yes! You could keep kids away from certain friends or environments. But today, with technology and the way the world works, there’s no way to fully protect them. So we have to do two things: protect them as much as we can and also prepare them for what’s inevitable.
Sam: Protect and prepare.
Matt: Exactly. For example, I told my boys, “There’s a very good chance you’re going to see inappropriate images online. I don’t want you to hide in shame. I want you to come to me and we’ll talk about it.” We had filters and safeguards, but culture has a way of sneaking in. So we protect as much as possible, but we also prepare them for when it happens.
Protection diminishes over time, but preparation can increase over time. It’s like authority and relationship: as a parent, your authority is high when they’re little but it decreases as they grow. Your relationship, though, should grow stronger. Talking is the key performance indicator—the KPI—of discipleship and relationship. If we keep talking, the relationship stays strong, and that gives our preparation lasting influence.
Sam: How do we as parents and leaders address these alarming narratives without being overly fearful or overly accepting?
Matt: The key is proximity. Be close enough to really know what’s happening in a child’s life. Many parents don’t realize the state of their child’s heart until they’re in crisis. Build unhurried, regular time together. Deuteronomy 6 reminds us to talk about God’s truth as we sit, walk, lie down and get up. It’s about weaving Gospel conversations into everyday life.
Create a family culture of consistent conversation. That way, when you need to teach, correct or even apologize, the relational bridge is already built.
Sam: What Gospel hope can you give parents who feel overwhelmed?
Matt: Two words: talk about.
Talk about everything—daily life, choices, consequences, music, sports, and yes, spiritual matters. That ongoing dialogue creates a culture where the Gospel can take root. It allows for teaching, modeling, apologizing and demonstrating forgiveness. If you start with what you can talk about and grow toward spiritual conversations, over time, it becomes natural.
Conversations are how we see Jesus modeling the Gospel to His disciples. He was always explaining parables and answering their questions about how to pray. It’s not all written down but I’m sure He talked about everything.
Sam: What is your hope for this book?
Matt: My hope is that children’s ministries would normalize catechizing kids into God’s big story. If pastors and volunteers consistently connect every story back to the overarching narrative—Creation, Fall, Redemption, Restoration—and use a simple creed to reinforce it, kids will be equipped to reject false stories. When that becomes standard practice, I’ll know The Story We Tell Our Children has accomplished its purpose.
Sam: That’s really good. Thanks so much, Matt, for your wisdom and heart for kids and youth and for those responsible for discipling the next generation. Matt’s newest book The Story We Tell Our Children is now available at thestorywetellourchildren.com and on Amazon. This book will sharpen your vision and provide practical ways to disciple kids in the one story that is both true and life-giving: the Gospel.
Get copies for your leadership team today!
Matt Markins serves as the President and CEO of Awana, a global leader in child discipleship. As a researcher in child discipleship and children’s ministry, Matt has commissioned 13 research projects since 2013, including a study conducted by Barna Group, called Children’s Ministry in a New Reality. He’s a board member at large for the National Association of Evangelicals and is the author or coauthor of several books, most notably The Faith of Our Children: Eight Timely Research Insights for Discipling the Next Generation, RESILIENT: Child Discipleship and the Fearless Future of the Church and Forming Faith: Discipling the Next Generation in a Post-Christian Culture. He’s also the cofounder of the Child Discipleship Forum and D6 Conference. Matt and his wife, Katie, have been involved in children’s ministry for more than 25 years and spend their time in Nashville with their two sons. For more information go to www.ChildDiscipleship.com and www.Awana.org.
