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My inbox is flooded with emails giving me the option to “opt out” of the slew of Mother’s Day marketing emails. I can imagine each email was written and sent with the utmost care and sympathy because the world knows that the journey of motherhood often comes with seasons of grief. The kind of grief that bubbles up when women are caught off guard by an email filled with Mother’s Day gift guides, when women are surprised by a child dedication service, or when everyone around them is celebrating a holiday they so deeply long to participate in.
It is true that motherhood is the most amazing and humbling experience. As a mom of two kids living with me on earth and three babies waiting for me on the other side of eternity, I know this tension well.
Mother’s Day is a reminder that we can hold both joy and grief. We can hold the grief of living in an imperfect world while also acknowledging the joy we have in Christ Jesus and the hope that is still to come when He returns.
The local church is filled with families holding both. As we journey alongside them, we may be celebrating in one moment, and in the very next, we might be grieving. It is messy and complicated, and most times you say the wrong thing or don’t know what to say at all.
I am reminded of Romans 12:15: “Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep.”
This verse is part of a larger section where Paul is describing the behaviors that should characterize the Christian church in Rome. These verses are filled with instructions on how Christians could flourish in a city where it was extremely difficult to follow Jesus.
While that verse sounds lovely in theory, how do we actually do that? There is no formula for journeying with people through both good seasons and hard seasons. Mother’s Day is one of those complicated days that the church is still trying to figure out.
I’ve sat in Mother’s Day planning meetings where we ask, “What do we do? How do we sit in the tension our families are facing? How do we rejoice and weep?”
What if there is no perfect answer? What if it is meant to stay messy? What if we are called to push through the awkwardness and rely on the power of the Holy Spirit to work through us and minister in a way we cannot?
So the question we are asking as we approach Mother’s Day is not, “What do we do?” but rather, “How can we do it imperfectly and fully dependent on the Holy Spirit?” In the middle of a busy Sunday morning, we can intentionally rejoice and weep with the moms in our church who are holding both.
Before we get practical, a good reminder is that we can care deeply for our people without carrying what they are carrying. Many ministry leaders are afraid to journey alongside families because they feel compelled to fix things or remove the grief. We can’t do that. Simply caring for people reflects how Christ cares for us and shows that He is ready and willing to carry our burdens.
Two Things All Moms Need on Mother’s Day
1. Moms Need to Be Seen
Being seen is the first step in cultivating a sense of belonging, and you can’t shepherd people without seeing them. Motherhood is full of unseen moments—early mornings, searching for the lost shoe, packing lunches, and driving back and forth to practice.
All too often, moms believe they don’t belong. They believe the lie that their parenting choices, the divorce they experienced, or the grief they carry gets in the way of belonging. When we truly see people, we communicate that they belong. Gift-giving does not always communicate belonging. Here are some ways to help moms in your community feel seen on Mother’s Day:
- Say something
- Acknowledge the loss
- Pray with them and for them
A simple “Happy Mother’s Day” is a great place to start. Your presence matters, even if you fumble through the words. Your attention is a gift, and you get to choose how you give it. Help the women in your community feel a sense of belonging, regardless of what they are carrying.
2. Moms Need to Be Reminded of the True Story of the Gospel
Motherhood comes with many false stories—stories of not being good enough or not doing enough. This Mother’s Day, how can you remind the moms in your church of the true story of the Gospel?
You can remind moms that their identity is not dependent on the behavior of their children but is established by their Creator. You can remind them that in their weakness, Christ is strong. You can remind them that the completed work of the cross means they can walk in freedom and that the Holy Spirit is in them, guiding them through every season. You can remind them that one day all the grief they carry will be no more and God will make all things new.
Remind the moms in your church that God is good. In the middle of hard days and hard seasons, He remains good—His love and power greater than anything. Here are some ways to remind moms of the Gospel:
- Through a craft for kids during the service
- In a card given to women as they leave
- In a hallway conversation or prayer
Everyone needs to be reminded of the Gospel often. On days like Mother’s Day, when comparison is at its highest, let’s proclaim the Gospel clearly so moms remember it in the everyday moments of motherhood.
Let us be ministry leaders who lean in. Should we celebrate moms on Mother’s Day? Absolutely. Should we be ready for grief-filled moments? Absolutely.
It is a gift to rejoice with people and to weep with people. That is what we are called to do as a church family. Without the messiness, there would be no need for Jesus to come back. So while we wait, we can see families right where they are and remind them of the good news of the Gospel.
