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What kids need most is joy.
We must give them joy that only comes from treasuring Christ. Rather than giving them the empty happiness of distracting entertainment, we must point them to the engaging, substantive joy that is only found in the Gospel.
In Galatians 4:19, Paul exclaims his hope for the young-in-faith believers there: “My little children, for whom I am again in the anguish of childbirth until Christ is formed in you!”
Like the Galatian believers who were being bombarded by outside messages, our kids are being formed by something. The only questions are: Who is forming them and what are they being formed into?
Seventeenth century French philosopher Blaise Pascal wrote, “All men seek happiness. This is without exception. Whatever different means they employ, they all tend to this end. The cause of some going to war, and of others avoiding it, is the same desire in both, attended with different views. This is the motive of every action of every man, even of those who hang themselves.”
Pascal’s words are jarring but true. Regardless of our station in life, we are all seeking happiness and lasting joy. The American obsession with happiness is destroying the soul of our nation, not because joy is wrong but because of where we believe happiness can be found. The Church is no exception to the lure of finding happiness in things that can be shaken. But the joy our hearts long for can only be found in the person and work of Christ alone.
In kids ministry, we have spent so much of the last few decades trying to bring happiness to kids but often at the expense of true joy. Happiness is a feeling. Joy is found in a Person. We ask our kids, “Did you have fun?”, and we measure attendance but not life change.
What kids need more than cool environments, creative curriculum or even happiness is leaders who are committed to their joy.
What does a leader committed to the joy of kids look like?
1. Make sure the Gospel is central, not peripheral.
The Gospel becomes peripheral when we limit the message of Christ crucified to Sunday mornings and Easter rather than letting the Savior’s atoning work on our behalf inform each lesson we teach. To see Christ in all of Scripture is God-given. His Spirit opens our eyes to see Christ. If you do not treasure Christ above all else, you will be tempted to opt for lessons that teach morality minus Christ’s transforming power. You will be tempted to lead pragmatically, doing what works and draws kids even if it is devoid of your reliance on God’s Spirit. You will settle for happiness when your kids need joy.
Kids are adrift in a virtual world that often wants to literally entertain them to death. What they need instead is a rudder that can only be provided by the joy of belonging to God, submitting to his Word and living within the hope the Gospel. When we are committed to their long-term joy, we will communicate God’s plan and purpose for the world and them in a way that is exciting and fun. We will stop asking, “Did you have fun?” and start asking, “What did you learn about God today?” As leaders who are committed to our children’s joy, we must be committed to their long-term joy, which is at times in opposition to short-term happiness. Instead of settling for fun-saturated entertainment with a little Jesus thrown in, let’s proclaim the joy that comes when Jesus is seen as central, precious, and beautiful.
How do we practically keep the Gospel central in our lives and ministries?
- Read books about Jesus, not just leadership. The Church in North America is obsessed with leadership. The Church does need strong leaders, but it needs those leaders to be obsessed with Jesus.
- Know the core tenets of our faith. Understand the theological framework of the church where you serve.
- Know the core doctrines of the Christian faith. Use them as a filter for the curriculum you choose and adapt accordingly.
2. Make sure adults are connecting meaningfully — and lovingly — with kids.
Your primary job is not to love kids. I know that may shock you, but it’s true.
Yes, of course you should show the love of Jesus to kids every chance you get. But as a kids ministry leader, your main job is to empower, train and disciple others — parents and fellow leaders — who will love and teach kids. This is not a church size issue but rather a priority issue. Whether you have a church of 50 or 5,000, you need to train leaders to lead and love kids. You cannot be the only loving, caring adult in your ministry. Your love for kids and passion for the Gospel should compel you to train others to do this work alongside you.
The benefit of a loving adult in a child’s life is more positive than we often imagine. Barna, along with Awana, has done research on this, and the findings are staggering.
The lifelong effect of your kids having a loving caring adult in their lives is beyond measure.
3. Make sure your volunteer base is multigenerational.
What kids need more than a multisensory experience is a multigenerational community. More than slick, creative videos and energetic young leaders, kids need seasoned saints who show up to tell the Bible story and offer the love of Jesus. Kids will benefit from older believers who have experienced the losses and joys of this world and found Jesus sweeter still.
Kids need to see leaders who live out their faith. Kids not only need to know about God; they need to know him personally. And one of the most powerful ways that happens is when they witness firsthand the faith of Christians who have gone before them.
So how can you create a multigenerational community of faith?
- Find sweet old saints and ask them to share Bible stories with kids.
- Organize a multigenerational dinner at your church so kids can hear stories of faith from the oldest members of your church. Play games and make memories together.
- Create opportunities in your services, camps and events where you allow kids to connect with God in a meaningful way.
- Train parents to see their homes as a little church—praying together, doing devotions with each other and rightfully handling Scripture.
4. Prioritize the Christlikeness of the kids in your care.
We all prioritize something in life. As ministry leaders, we might agonize over our church’s size or the production value of VBS. Some “experts” might even encourage us to obsess over those. But the apostle Paul offers a different viewpoint. In the churches under his care, Paul prioritized the Christlikeness of his people.
Look again at Galatians 4:19: “My little children, for whom I am again in the anguish of childbirth until Christ is formed in you!”
Why isn’t this the cry of all Christian leaders and godly parents? Why are we not in anguish over the Christlikeness of our kids? Perhaps it’s because we have idolized success and trivialized holiness.
Eugene Peterson’s riveting opening salvo in his pastoral classic, Under the Unpredictable Plant, discusses this very issue, and it’s worth quoting him at length.
The idolatry to which pastors are conspicuously liable is not personal but vocational, the idolatry of a religious career that we can take charge of and manage.
Vocational holiness, in deliberate opposition to career idolatry, is my subject. Personal holiness, which is the lifelong process by which our hearts and minds and bodies are conformed to Christ, is more often addressed. But it is both possible and common to develop deep personal pieties that coexist alongside vocational idolatries without anyone noticing anything amiss. If the pastor is devout, it is assumed that the work is also devout. The assumption is unwarranted. Sincerity in a carpenter does not ensure an even saw cut. Neither does piety in a pastor guarantee true pastoral work.
My impression is that the majority of pastors are truly good, well-intentioned, even godly. But their goodness does not inevitably penetrate their vocations. The pastoral vocation in America is embarrassingly banal. It is banal because it is pursued under the canons of job efficiency and career management. It is banal because it is reduced to the dimensions of a job description. It is banal because it is an idol — a call from God exchanged for an offer by the devil for work that can be measured and manipulated at the convenience of the worker. Holiness is not banal. Holiness is blazing.
Pastors commonly give lip service to the vocabulary of a holy vocation, but in our working lives, we more commonly pursue careers. Our actual work takes shape under the pressure of the marketplace, not the truth of theology or the wisdom of spirituality. I would like to see as much attention given to the holiness of our vocations as to the piety of our lives.
This is the job of pastors, leaders, and parents. We will obsess over something, be it our careers, image management or social standing. None of these things deserves our obsessive attention.
We, like the apostle Paul, must prioritize the right things as we seek to lead the children under our care until truly joy-filled lives. As leaders and parents, let’s prioritize Christlikeness in our children. We must not give up. We must not relent until Christ is formed in them. Let’s offer them the life-changing joy of an eternal relationship with the Savior.
