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If I’m honest, in nearly 20 years of student ministry, one of the issues I’ve consistently wrestled with is how to best assimilate students into student ministry. What do we do with students who are entering a new stage of life, growing and maturing rapidly, and still learning to leave behind their more “childish” ways?
During my first several years in vocational ministry, my answer was “RUN!” For many youth leaders, these kids are like the beginning of the Addams Family theme song: “They’re creepy and they’re kooky, mysterious and spooky, they’re altogether ooky … the rising sixth graders!” In fact, one of my first orders of business as a new youth pastor was to raise the youth ministry starting grade from sixth to seventh. We kept it that way for my nearly nine-year stint at that church.
Obviously, there is nothing wrong with having youth ministry start at seventh grade, depending on the context. But for me, one of the main reasons I made the change was, in a weird way, I was intimidated by sixth graders. I was far more comfortable with the rough-and-tough juniors and seniors than I was with these new students. After serving at that church, I stepped out of vocational ministry for a time. We had moved to a new town, so we found a new church and asked where we could serve as lay leaders. What age group did they need the most help with? You guessed it: the fifth and sixth graders, of course. During that season, God began to open my eyes to how unique and incredible ministry to sixth graders is.
Unexpected Lessons on Ministering to Rising Sixth Graders
Sixth Graders Are Often the Most Excited Students You Have
Many sixth graders enter student ministry with an eyes-wide-open excitement. For many kids I’ve been able to work with, while there was some apprehension (for students and parents), there has also been great enthusiasm. Sometimes they’ve had older siblings already go through the student ministry, so they have heard about all the inside jokes, the extreme ping-pong games and life-changing missions trips. Other times, they’ve just been able to observe the activities and camaraderie of the group across the church campus and are excited that they are finally able to partake. And for many, they are excited to continue learning and growing in their relationship with the Lord.
Sixth Graders Are Often the Most Curious Students You Have
Most sixth graders are super-curious … about everything! If you’ve ever served in student ministry, you’ve learned that questions and discussion are a big part of the ministry in general, but we also know as students get older, the “too cool for school” or “worried about being seen as dumb” dynamic eventually hits. However, in my experience, many sixth graders have no issues with this. Can their questions sometimes come from left field or lead down a never-ending rabbit trail? Sure. But don’t scold, embarrass or belittle that tendency. Embrace it! Of course, there are times when we have to gently guide the discussion back from the rabbit trail, but the journey is often worth it.
Sixth Graders Often Learn and Mature Quickly
Sixth grade is often a maturation raceway. For a majority of the sixth graders I have worked with, their sixth grade year (ages 11-12) is one of incredible growth and maturity. Not only do they learn from older students, leaders and pastors about the rhythms and expectations of being part of the group, but also their eyes further open to the good, bad and ugly of the world around them. They begin to step into the “real world,” and that growth helps with their ability to understand how the truths of the Gospel have implications in the world around them. As youth workers, we get the amazing opportunity to have a front row seat to see it happen.
Sixth Graders Are Often “Bridge Builders” for Your Ministry
At our church, fellowship time is popular before and after our church-wide programming. Many of our families will stay and fellowship at least an hour after services end. During these times, I’ve noticed that many sixth graders still have younger friends in children’s ministry, in addition to their friends in the grade above them. I’ve seen sixth graders start serving as bridges between students who will soon enter student ministry and current middle schoolers. They can really help incoming sixth graders transition into student ministry life.
Practical Tips on Working With Sixth Graders
Start Small with Activities
I typically don’t throw the big start-of-school/promotion party where sixth graders are welcomed. That’s because sixth graders often clump up and hide in the shadows at these events. Doing smaller summer events (such as only incoming sixth and seventh graders, or only middle school guys or girls) leading up to promotion time is much more beneficial. This truly has helped many of our students transition well. Particularly in the first semester, we often split up, giving the incoming sixth graders ample time to continue warming up.
Find Intentional Volunteers
Volunteers are important for this age group. Entering student ministry as a sixth grader gives kids their first impression of youth leaders, which means you should be careful about who you have in their groups. Sixth grade ministry requires a “special” type of volunteer. For the past two years, we’ve had a mom of one of our students teach our sixth and seventh grade girls’ class. She has gone all out. She’s very nurturing while keeping the discussion under control during their times together. She really has become a champion for that age group.
Prepare the Parents
I can’t stress this enough: Overcommunicate with families. I recently sent an email about an upcoming event and (as usual), I included the basic details but left out quite a bit, thinking I would include those details in a later email. Within a few minutes, I received a very gracious response, asking for clarification. This particular family hadn’t had students in the student ministry before, so this was all very new to them. Parents grow more comfortable as you provide more details. Overcommunicating, particularly with families of sixth graders, has helped smooth the transition for students and their parents.
A student’s journey through student ministry is unique. They will grow and change physically, mentally, relationally and spiritually during this time. At every stage, there will be challenges, but also opportunities. Our job is not to parent them; it is to provide an atmosphere where they can be comfortable talking about their faith, sharing struggles, exercising their giftings and accepting challenges to become more like Christ. We don’t get to pick and choose when those realities take effect. And if we try to wait until they are easier to handle, we will miss out on significant formative years.
So really engage with those awkward sixth graders, as well as the older students, knowing God has entrusted us with bringing the Gospel to bear on every area and stage of life. Ministry to young people and their families truly is a beautiful gift. Let’s embrace it.
This article originally appeared at Youth Pastor Theologian, a site that equips youth workers to teach teenagers a faith substantial enough to grow into. Used with permission. For more information and for resources for youth ministry check out their store.
