Sooo, I was assigned to write an article on “Liturgy for the First and Last Years of School for Our Kids.” Without question, a weighty topic. Well, here goes …
Before your kindergartner’s first day of school: Go to Costco and purchase facial tissues in bulk. Then put on sackcloth and ashes and pray all day. No, seriously.
After your high school senior’s last day of school: Rejoice! Then sleep. (Or quickly purchase a one-way flight to Barbados. Your choice.)
The End.
Okay, it’s not really the end of the article. My word count is low, and there’s a bit more to cover. So let’s dive a little deeper into what it means to parent our kids through these major milestones of life.
Prepare Thyself
In mid-August, shortly before my oldest daughter started her final semester of college, I moved her into her first “big girl apartment.” This is not a dorm; it’s an off-campus residence with monthly rent and utility bills. When she finishes her undergraduate degree in December, she’s not coming back home.
I shed a lot of tears on move-in day — and not because her, ahem, “first-floor” apartment required climbing three flights of stairs in North Carolina’s summer humidity. As physically painful as that was, the emotional feeling of loss was worse. Back at home later that afternoon, I noticed how empty her old bedroom looked … and broke down.
As parents, these major transitional moments in our kids’ lives can be rough. Whether it’s watching our little tyke waddle into kindergarten while wearing a backpack twice his size or watching your high school graduate walk across the stage for her diploma, these moments seem to give us an abrupt, gut-punch reality check: Life will never be the same.
How do we parent our kids through these significant milestones of childhood and adolescence? How do we intentionally guide them through these emotional rites of passage? And is it possible to do any of this without ugly-crying?
Maybe not on that last question. But with a bit of purposefulness and forethought, we can travel this road of parenthood from the first to last year of school in a way that honors the Lord, cares for our kids and points them to God’s good plans for them.
Pray
Yeah, yeah. I know this sounds like the Sunday school answer. But that doesn’t make it less true. If we really believe in the power of prayer (we should!) and if we truly love our kids (we do!), then we need to commit them regularly to the God who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think (Ephesians 3:20).
How often do you pray for your child? Are they part of your regular quiet times with the Lord? Do they hear you praying for them at their bedside at night or on the car trip to school? Join together in praising God for the season that ended and ask for His guidance for the season to come.
You can also mark some of these milestones with prayer in tangible ways. Consider writing out a prayer for their first day of school, framing it and placing it on their bedroom wall. For high schoolers, give them a framed prayer for their future as they enter or finish their senior year. Those would be meaningful mementos they’d cherish forever.
Set Up Other Markers
In addition to prayer, what other markers could you initiate for your family to highlight major milestones?
When God miraculously parted the Jordan River, allowing Joshua and the Israelites to cross into Canaan, Joshua set up 12 stones — one for each of the tribes of Israel — at the site as a way to proclaim God’s faithfulness to future generations. Joshua told the people, These stones shall be to the people of Israel a memorial forever (Joshua 4:7).
What could this look like for your family? Think through how to celebrate God’s goodness and promise-keeping nature with your child on the first day of kindergarten, on their high school graduation day, and many moments in between.
Celebrate!
Even as we parents sniffle our way through our kids’ big moments, we also need to celebrate them.
What kid wouldn’t want to be taken out for ice cream after their first day of kindergarten? What high schooler wouldn’t want to be treated to a day at the local amusement park, a night on the town or a cool trip of their choosing after they graduate? These moments are big deals for kids, so celebrate them as such!
Embrace One Direction
No, thankfully the boy band didn’t get back together and release a new album. The one direction in view here is the straight and narrow path of following God through all the stages of life.
Though many transitions will occur throughout our kids’ growing-up years, the overall trajectory of their life — seeking the Lord and walking in His ways — should remain the same. This is something we need to regularly put before our kids. Jeremiah 6:16 says, Thus says the Lord: “Stand by the roads, and look, and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way is; and walk in it, and find rest for your souls.”
Life is ever-changing. But the ancient paths that God has laid out for us in His timeless Word remain steadfast.
Rejoice as You Shoot Arrows
Psalm 127:3-4 says: Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth.
Ultimately, our children are not our own. We are merely stewards of one of God’s greatest gifts. Our job is to send them out, like arrows, into the world. As you do, rejoice in this good task God has given you — one filled with many challenges but also countless blessings.
And remind them you won’t let them fail. As our kids experience more of life and take on bigger responsibilities, make sure they know you’re always there. Kids learn a lot from their falls. But they also need to know we’ll be there to pick them up when needed.
Stay the Course
Are we doing all this correctly? Are we properly stewarding these incredible gifts God has given us, setting them up for success? Are we navigating them through all the moments of life — big and small — well? It’s hard to say in the moment, but God often gives us small glimpses of encouragement that let us know our labor is not in vain.
Three weeks after my oldest daughter moved into her “big girl apartment,” she sent me a message: hi! miss you! can i come over and hang on friday?
When I read it, I almost cried. (And not because Gen Z refuses to properly capitalize their text messages.) My firstborn was already homesick, which, honestly, made me really happy. I thought, Well, I’m not the perfect parent, but I must be doing something right. Thank you, Jesus.
Navigating our kids through the seasons of life is certainly not for the faint of heart. But by God’s empowering grace — sprinkled with a whole lot of prayer, direction, markers, love, laughs and tears — we can faithfully help them tackle life’s big milestones. Then, when it’s time, we can stretch back our parental bows with confidence and send our precious arrows into the big, wide world, ready to land where God has planned long ago, for their good and His glory.
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