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So the fall sports season has started for your kid. There’s a strong chance that the total mileage you’ve already logged heading back and forth for practices and games equals the distance between your house … and Nepal. Who knew that your kid making the local travel club would require oil changes for your car every two weeks?
What’s more, the sports season brings a wild roller coaster of emotions in your child that might look something like this:
First practice: Oh. My. Goodness. I did horribly. My coach must think I’m the worst player in the world. I might not even make the team. I’m certainly not going to be a starter. But come to think of it, Billy was worse. So maybe I’ll get his spot. Yeah, that could work! I just hope Coach saw Billy flub it. Wait, that’s a horrible thought. I shouldn’t think that. But Billy’s loss is my gain. Golly, I don’t know what to think! Because I really do like Billy. He gave me the best gift at my birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese last year. Most other kids gave me one Matchbox car or a card with three bucks in it. Pffft. But not Billy! He gave me the entire Star Wars LEGO collection! Mind blown. Of course, the little creep also beat me in Skee-Ball — at my own party! No idea how he got eight out of 10 balls in the center circle. Dude was a machine. With those kinds of mad athletic skillz, there’s no way I’m beating him for a starting spot on the team. Oh man, I am cooked.
First win: We won! The sun is shining! The sky is blue! The birds are singing merrily just like they do in Disney movies! Life is amazing!
First loss: Arrrrrggggghhhhh. Will the sun ever shine again? The sky is falling! Are those birds I hear, or the baying of ravenous wolves? Disney movies are so fake. Life is terrible!
Yes, sports can bring out the best — and the worst — in us. So how do we guide our young athletes through the ups and downs of a sports season? How can we help them not get too high in success or too low in defeat?
It all starts with what drives us.
What’s Your Motivation?
Ultimately, your child’s motivation in sports should not be the starting point guard position, an above-.300 batting average or a gold trophy above the fireplace. In other words, they shouldn’t be motivated by their own glory.
In sports, as in all of life, we must lift our heads above the earthly to the heavenly. Our sole purpose in life is to worship, glorify, and enjoy God. As 1 Corinthians 10:31 says, So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.
So yes, your little slugger, striker or swimmer should give their best in competition. Meanwhile, though, you should be reminding them that life — sports included — is for God’s glory, not ours. Whether they have a season for the ages or one to forget, God should receive all their praise and honor.
What’s Your Identity?
Similar to proper motivation, we also need to remind our young athletes that their identity matters. If someone were to ask them who they are, would they say, “I’m a soccer player” or “I’m an outside hitter,” or would they say, “I’m a Christian … and I also play sports”?
It’s so easy for our identity to be shaped by what we do. But this is to our detriment. It ties our happiness to things that ultimately cannot satisfy. If a child’s identity is tied to sports, wins will send them soaring and losses will send them crashing. (And trust me when I tell you, as a lifelong Baltimore Orioles and Washington Commanders fan, it’s best to find your identity outside sports.)
As Christian athletes, we can rest in the assurance that Jesus doesn’t love us any more when we win or any less when we lose. Whether your kid goes 0 for 3 with three strikeouts or 4 for 4 with a walk-off homer, Jesus reigns over the entire universe just the same. Help your child place their identity in the unchanging Savior, who is the same yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:8) and makes us a new creation in Him (2 Corinthians 5:17).
The Benefits of Bombing
We learn a whole lot more in life from our mistakes than we do our successes. When we win, we’re tempted to bathe in the acclaim and puff up with pride in our own accomplishments. But losses and hardships are much better teachers as we seek to become more like Christ. Our weaknesses shine a far brighter light on God’s greatness and His power in our lives (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).
My background is in sports journalism, and in 2018, I had the privilege of helping former NFL quarterback Nick Foles write his memoir, Believe It: My Journey of Success, Failure, and Overcoming the Odds, after he led the Philadelphia Eagles to their first-ever Super Bowl win with a shocking upset over the highly favored New England Patriots of Tom Brady and Bill Belichick. Nick is easily one of the most humble and unassuming pro athletes I’ve ever met.
In Nick’s press conference the morning after the Super Bowl, a reporter asked him what he wanted people to take away from his inspiring journey from an overlooked backup who considered quitting football in 2016 to a Super Bowl MVP less than two years later. This was Nick’s response:
“I think the big thing is don’t be afraid to fail. In our society today — Instagram, Twitter — it’s a highlight reel. It’s all the good things. And then when you have a rough day or your life is not good as that, [you think] you’re failing. Failure is a part of life. It’s a part of building character and growing. Without failure, who would you be? I wouldn’t be up here if I hadn’t fallen thousands of times, made mistakes. We all are human; we all have weaknesses. Throughout this, being able to share that and be transparent [is important].
“I know when I listen to people speak and they share their weaknesses, I’m listening because I can resonate. I’m not perfect. I’m not Superman. I might be in the NFL, and we might have just won the Super Bowl, but hey, I still have daily struggles. But that’s where my faith comes in. That’s where my family comes in. I think when you look at a struggle in your life, just know that’s an opportunity for your character to grow. That’s really just been the message. It’s simple: If something’s going on in your life and you’re struggling, embrace it because you’re growing.”1
Not your typical quote from a guy who just won the crown jewel of American sports championships, is it? But there’s so much truth in what Nick said.
Help your young athlete to learn from their mistakes and use failure to improve as a player, grow as a teammate and still give glory to God.
Guaranteed Victory
In sports, the outcome of games (illegal match-fixing incidents aside) is never known before play starts. But for every follower of Jesus, ultimate victory is guaranteed!
Through His sacrificial death and glorious resurrection, Jesus defeated sin, death and all the powers of hell. He is the victor. He lives forever. He reigns supreme. And through faith in Him, we can claim this victory, too. As 1 Corinthians 15:54-57 says:
“Death is swallowed up in victory.”
“O death, where is your victory?
O death, where is your sting?”
The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
Remind your young competitor that only through Jesus can they receive assurance of true victory in what truly matters. In Christ, they are a guaranteed winner, with an eternal victory party awaiting them! Nothing else in life can promise that.
As kids learn these Gospel truths, the extreme highs and lows of competition will begin to level out, and they’ll see sports for what they truly are — a gift from God to draw us closer to Him, grow ourselves and serve others.
1. Nick Foles, Believe It: My Journey of Success, Failure, and Overcoming the Odds, with Joshua Cooley (Tyndale Momentum, 2018), 227–228. ↩
